Judgy McJudgster

   There is an episode of Desperate Housewives that brought me to tears. In the episode, one of the ladies on the show is so stressed out with trying to keep up with being a mother she starts taking her kids ADHD medication to keep up. She finally ends up having a a nervous breakdown, drops her kids off with friends and drives off to a park to go and collect herself. Later, her friends go and find her and the stressed out mom says everyone else seems so happy and like they have everything together. The other moms then go into how hard parenting is, how they have cried, struggled, etc. The stressed out mom says, "why didn't you tell me?"

   I don't know if parenting has always been this way. Mothers completely divide themselves up by what parenting choices they make. We judge breast or bottle, disposable diapers or cloth, paci or no paci, public school, private school, homeschool, baby stroller or baby wearing, organic foods or non organic foods, extended rear facing car seat recommendations, spanking or no spanking, vaccine schedules, purées or baby led weaning, rice cereal or no, working mother or stay at home mom. I'm here to tell you this behavior is harmful.


   We all make decisions for our children based on what we think is right for our family. I've really gotten to point that I think there are only a few simple rules to what makes a good parent. Is the child fed, loved, safe, and happy? Does the parent, to the best of their knowledge, try to make good decisions to help their child lead a healthy, happy, and productive life? All the other stuff means nothing. You can have strong opinions on how you want YOUR child raised, but refrain from judging other parents. Women need to stick together, not tear each other down. I know so many women who vary so different in how they parent and they are all great mothers.


   I recently had my parenting called into question. Do I think this person was misguided and lacks a true understanding about our life and how it differs from the norm? Certainly. Does it hurt any less? No. Is it over the line blogging about it? Probably. Will this person ever see this? No. No harm down them. At least to them.